blastall

IN MAY OF 1989 WE MOVED INTO THE UGLIEST COURTHOUSE EVER CONSTRUCTED. IT HAS BEEN ON THE COVER OF ARCHITECTURAL INDIGESTION AT LEAST ONCE A YEAR SINCE WE TOOK OCCUPANCY. IT LEAKS. ITS' ENTRAILS ARE RUSTING. THE FACADE IS CRACKED AND FALLING OFF. THE ELEVATORS HAVE NEVER ALL BEEN IN SERVICE AT THE SAME TIME. THE INTERIOR WALLS ARE DULL. THERE IS NO ART. THERE IS NO HOPE OF IMPROVEMENT. THE PLACE HAS BEEN UNDER REPAIR FROM THE FIRST DAY. IT NEVER GETS ANY BETTER. THE COURTROOMS ARE DIMLY LIT AND ACOUSTICALLY DEPLORABLE. AFTER AN HOUR, YOU HAVE THE VISION OF MR. MAGOO. IT IS ONE OF THOSE PLACES WHERE EVERYTHING CAN BE HEARD AND NOTHING CAN BE HEARD. GREAT PLACE TO SEEK JUSTICE-BLIND AND DEAF. SOME FOLKS COME TO THE COURTHOUSE TO RIGHT WRONGS. MOST FOLKS WHO COME TO THE COURTHOUSE BELIEVE THAT THEIR RIGHTS HAVE BEEN WRONGED. PRETTY MUCH NOBODY COMES IN HAPPY AND FEWER LEAVE IN THAT STATE. BUT ENOUGH GROUSING. THERE IS ONE SWEET SPOT IN THIS SOUR EDIFICE. GO TO FLOOR #2 AND ENTER THE SNACK BAR. WELCOME TO THE HOME OF MIKO. THIS IS ONE TINY,HAPPY,BUNDLE OF ENERGY. IF YOU PUT 10 POUNDS OF ROCKS IN HER POCKETS,SHE WOULD WEIGH 10 POUNDS. 4 POUNDS SMILE. 4 POUNDS KINDNESS. 2 POUNDS OF ENDLESS EFFICIENCY. MIKO AND I HAVE A DEAL. EVERY MONDAY MORNING AT ABOUT 6:30, I ENTER THE SNACK BAR WITH A PAPER BANK ENVELOPE WITH 5 BUCKS IN ASSORTED CHANGE. I DELIVER THE COINS TO MIKO AND NOW WITHOUT ADDITIONAL DAILY RECOMPENSE, I CAN HELP MYSELF TO A SMALL CUP OF VANILLA SWILL UNTIL THE NEXT MONDAY. I GET THE BEST VANILLA SWILL IN TOWN. I GET A BIG THANK YOU EVERYDAY--SOMETHING YOU DON'T GET VERY OFTEN IN MY LINE OF WORK. MIKO BAKES COOKIES EACH MORNING AND THEY ARE ABOUT THE ONLY THING THAT SMELLS GOOD IN THE COURTHOUSE. OATMEAL,MACADAMIA AND C-CHIPS. I NEVER BUY THEM. ABOUT ONCE EVERY TWO WEEKS, MIKO WILL OFFER TO LET ME HAVE A FREE COOKIE BUT I ALWAYS DECLINE. LAST THURSDAY WAS DIFFERENT. IT SEEMS THAT THERE HAD BEEN A COOKIE MINING DISASTER. TWO OATMEAL COOKIES AND TWO C-CHIPS HAD BEEN DAMAGED IN HARVEST. THE OATMEAL COOKIES WERE THINNER THAN A PIZZA WHEEL AND THE C-CHIPS WERE KNARLY AND BEYOND REPAIR. MIKO WRAPPED THEM IN PAPER, GAVE ME A GRIN AND TOLD ME TO TAKE THEM. I DID. I'M GONNA HAVE TO RECALCULATE HER WEIGHT. GOTTA FACTOR IN A POUND OF SLY. SHE'S GOT ME HOOKED. MAYBE I'LL TALK TO ONE OF THE SILK SHIRTS ABOUT SUING MIKO FOR HOOKING ME. AIN'T THAT THE WAY IT WORKS IN AMERICA...FILL UP THE COURTHOUSE WITH WORTHLESS LAW SUITS..TRY TO FINANCIALLY NAIL SOME GOOD PERSON FOR DOING SOMETHING GOOD. NAH..I'D NEVER SUE MIKO. IN FACT, IF ANYONE EVER MESSES WITH MIKO, EVERYONE IN THE COURTHOUSE WILL LINE UP TO WHACK THE FOOL. MAYBE I SHOULDN'T USE THE WORD WHACK, GIVEN RECENT GOINGS ON IN THE COURTHOUSE...I GUESS IT'S OK THOUGH. I SAW IN THE PAPER THAT IT NEVER HAPPENED. GEE I WISH THE COUNTY ATTORNEY WOULD HIRE OUTSIDE COUNSEL TO SUE THE NUTBALLS WHO THOUGHT THIS FESTERING SIEVE OF A BUILDING WAS HABITABLE IN 1989. I'M NOT GROUSING. I'M JUST STATING... SHORT FOOD STUFF FROM LAST WEEK MONDAY TO BAGELX2---OO IS STILL LOOKING FOR LOX IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES. LINDA IS AS SWIFT AS EVER. THE VIRGINIA MELT WAS FINE. THURSDAY AT TAKES ME OUT TO WILSONS..THE COLE SLAW WAS INCREDIBLE AND THE OTHER STUFF WASN'T BAD EITHER... FRIDAY AN EARLY LUNCH WITH DG AT PO'BOYS. IT WAS A TWO C-CHIP DAY AND BOTH WERE TOP OF THE LINE. THE CAPO OF PO'BOYS HAS READ MY BLOG. HE MUMBLES SOMETHING ABOUT EVEN THOUGH MY STUFF IS DRIVEL..HE'S GONNA GET THE CRUST OFF THE CONDIMENTS.